If there’s just one thing that many divorcing or separating couples can agree on, it’s the desire to maintain a sense of normalcy for their children. But what’s “normal”? After all, as the novelist Leo Tolstoy wrote in Anna Karenina, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”
Perhaps that’s another way of saying that there is no such thing as a “normal” family—at least one that’s happy all the time. Such a thing doesn’t exist. And, of course, it goes without saying that a family confronting the prospect of divorce will be unhappy, to one degree or another. In the context of divorce or some other family law issue, complete happiness can be hard to find.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t encourage stability in your children’s day-to-day lives, with the goal of preserving your relationships and minimizing the stress and trauma of divorce. Even though divorce is stressful for both parents and children, there is one step you can take to make life run as smoothly as possible.
The Benefit of Objective Decision-Making
Decisions made while upset (or “under duress,” as lawyers say) tend not to turn out as well as decisions made objectively, because you’re guided by raw emotion rather than reason. The guidance of a lawyer, along with the guidance of mental health professionals and other advisors, helps you to evaluate your situation objectively.
Even without a lawyer, maintaining your objectivity by taking a step back can help you to evaluate your options, consider the consequences of taking one action over another, and choose what you’re going to do next.
How does this work in reality?
For a concrete example, consider the modern parenting plan. Parenting plans can be quite detailed—in fact, as detailed and fluid as you and your spouse want to make it. This can be both a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because life post-divorce is what you make it. It’s a curse because it’s all too easy for parents in a contentious divorce to get lost in the details and to fight not only over the big things but the small things, too.
Taking a step back, you’ll find that it’s worth focusing on what matters most, like creating a visitation schedule that works for both parents and will allow your family to function as smoothly as possible going forward.
Worried About Your Kids in Divorce? Call Us Today
Fighting over the small things only costs more time, money, aggravation—and stress for the children. Sometimes it’s worth it. Often, it’s not. If you want to maintain a sense of normalcy for your kids in a divorce, call 817-789-4436 or send us a message online for the objective guidance you need to make the best decisions possible under the circumstances.