How is your divorce affecting your children?

As we’ve told our readers before, divorce often goes one of two ways. The first, though many people think is incredibly rare, is a non-contentious divorce. For these couples, resolutions to disputes come easily and are resolved in a short amount of time. Bad blood does not exist and few frustrations ever arise. But then there is the second, more common outcome, which is a contentious divorce. For these couples, disputes often escalate because of heightened emotions and hurt feelings. resulting in battles that usually don’t end amicably.

But while it’s easy for adults to articulate how a divorce has affected them once the dust settles, many could not do the same for their children. Or at least, that’s what a recent survey conducted by Netmums discovered when it asked parents and children how divorce affected them. According to the survey’s findings, 77 percent of separated couples believe that their kids coped well with the divorce. The reality was that 39 percent of children polled admitted that they were hiding their true feelings and only 18 percent were actually happy that their parent’s relationship had ended.

Although many couples try to hide fighting and disputes during a divorce, few realize how much of this fighting children actually see.  According to the survey, 31 percent of children saw their parents fighting, which is nearly three times higher than what parents thought.  In many cases, children felt that they were the cause of the split and some even resorted to alcohol and drugs to cope with the stress of divorce.  For some of our readers this news may not be surprising but for others, who may not realize what affect a divorce can have on a child, this news could mean a reevaluation about their own situation.

Source: My Fox Philly, “New Survey Sheds Light On Real Impact Of Divorce,” Dec. 30, 2013