Nobody likes nagging. The person doing the nagging feels frustrated and unheard, while the person being nagged feels both annoyed and resentful. As common as nagging is, though, it is more than just a minor irritant. Nagging, according to experts, can actually lead to divorce.
“Nagging is an enemy of love, if allowed to persist,” said Howard Markman, the co-director of the Center for Marital and Family Studies.
Fortunately, the damage may be reversed if couples are willing to work on reducing the nagging in their relationship.
As with so many other things in life, the first step towards solving the problem is to admit that there is a problem. Recognize that nagging is a destructive force in the relationship and commit to working with each other to improve communication and reduce fighting.
Experts advise that spouses start by trying to become aware of the other spouse’s perspective. Approach it from a sympathetic point of view. Is the other spouse tired and feeling overwhelmed with things to do? What about personality differences and how that can affect how each spouse reacts?
They also advise that spouses think of the other spouse’s needs before simply jumping into habitual negative communication patterns. The nagger can think about whether her requests are really urgent, instead of firing off demands without thinking. The naggee can be clear about when they can reasonably accomplish a task, instead of simply shutting down and tuning out.
It’s all a matter of giving priority to the relationship. After all, getting chores done is good, but living without nagging or being nagged is even better.
To learn more about divorce, child custody or spousal maintenance here in Texas, contact an experienced and skilled legal professional.
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This post is for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal advice.
The Wall Street Journal, “Meet the marriage killer” Jan. 25, 2011