Going through a divorce can mean different things for different people. Some will undoubtedly be elated as they are free from a relationship that had soured and, more importantly, free to move forward with their plans for the future. Others, however, will likely be left devastated by the divorce, feeling blindsided by the end of their marriage and unsure where to turn next.
Regardless of which category you fall into — or whether you fall somewhere in between — experts advise people to move forward cautiously during the divorce, meaning they should consciously take steps to maintain their happiness and minimize their pain.
The following are just a few of the many pitfalls that experts advise the newly divorced to avoid if possible.
Friendship with your former spouse
In the immediate aftermath of divorce, many former spouses will go out of their way to try to remain friends. The reality, experts say, is that this can prove to be a very difficult proposition. The reason? Every divorce, no matter how amicable, can leave a person feeling emotionally, spiritually and physically drained.
That’s precisely why experts indicate that former spouses should make an effort to establish boundaries. This doesn’t mean that the two parties can’t remain cordial and speak openly with one another, rather it just means giving one another the chance to heal and accept the new reality.
Managing your emotions
Many people will either bottle their emotions and/or try to navigate the divorce process entirely on their own. Not surprisingly, experts indicate that this can prove to be incredibly detrimental. Not only should the recently divorced reach out to qualified professionals like divorce attorneys or divorce coaches, but also to therapists or others who can help them sort through their feelings in a constructive manner.
Similarly, experts advise people to find healthy outlets for their sadness, anger or fear. This could be something as simple as making an effort to exercise or talking with a friend.
Making sound decisions
Experts advise that part of maintaining a happy and healthy lifestyle during a divorce is making sound decisions. However, many recently divorced people, they contend, make rash decisions in an attempt to start moving forward with their lives. This can mean everything from moving to a new place or buying a new car to starting a new relationship. Here, experts advise people to think carefully about all major decisions and to remember that time is on their side.
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To learn more about dissolution of marriage or other family law issues, contact an skilled legal professional.
This post is for informational purposes only and is not to be construed as legal or financial advice.
The Huffington Post, “5 common divorce mistakes,” Allison Pescosolido, April 8, 2013