The number of couples filing for divorce after the winter holidays are over is anecdotally higher than at other times of the year. There are fewer distractions, for sure—no more frenzied, holiday distractions, the kids are back in school and the bills from the season start to arrive. Life settles back into its familiar routine filled with all the things you could avoid dealing with when the season was in full swing—including whether to file for divorce.
If you’ve decided to move forward with divorce in the New Year, promise to set these five resolutions to make the process easier for you and those around you.
1. Be Fair
Try to think about splitting up assets and liabilities as if your marriage were a business. You both contributed to the marriage, monetarily and otherwise. If you approach a marriage like a business, it may be easier to be more objective about what is a fair way to divide up your property.
2. Be Kind
Being kind is like being fair, but with a broader effect. If your children see you and your spouse treating each other with respect and kindness, it will help them get through the process more easily. They won’t dread coming home to chaos if you still live in the same house. At the very least, being kind means being civil and calm. You maintain your dignity and keep your blood pressure under control.
3. Keep Your Children Out of the Middle
We understand that this is often easier said than done. And, honestly, there is only so much you can do if your spouse isn’t cooperating or is putting the kids in the middle. No matter what, tell your kids you both love them. And if one of your children is having a difficult time, consider getting counseling through school or your pediatrician.
4. Be Honest
Don’t go out and charge up your credit cards, just because you know your soon-to-be ex-spouse will get stuck with half the liability. Don’t try to hide assets or give things to your friends to hide for you. Opening secret bank accounts, intentionally earning less money, slowing down a business or lying to the court about your financial situation are all wrong. In the long run, it can set you and your spouse up for continued litigation down the road.
5. Take Care of Yourself
Admittedly, divorce can make you second-guess every decision you ever made when you were married. And, it’s easy to look back and ask yourself why you didn’t pick up on a feeling or listen to your intuition. Now is not the time to beat yourself up. Rather, it’s a time to make sure you prioritize taking care of yourself and getting through this. Everything else can wait. Because if you don’t eat, don’t sleep, or don’t exercise, you can’t take care of your kids, do your job or stay out of the hospital. Your physical and mental well-being are paramount at this time; put yourself first.
Use These 5 Resolutions to Get Through the Challenging Months Ahead
Contact our experienced family law attorneys to discuss your divorce options and to plan a strategy that helps you obtain the best results possible. We are here for you.